A cynical look at MS office

Now that the hurly burly’s done and the never-tiring Indian cricketers are on their way to the picturesque Caribbean islands to play the umpteenth tri-series against the same old faces whom they bullied over the last fortnight, may I stand a few steps away from the crowd --- not because my wife has asked me not to be in a crowd but because I cannot put my heart into it --- and say a few things which could make me unpopular?

No, I do not deserve a pat on the back for daring to be different as I am doing this just because I am too afraid, of what the future holds for me as an Indian cricket fan, to give in to this euphoria of winning the Champions Trophy against all odds and having the best-ever Indian captain; the only captain in history who has laid his hands on every title that is on offer.

I’ll come to that ‘best-ever Indian captain’ feather later. Let me discuss the last part of the previous sentence first.

The International Cricket Council started the ICC Test Championship (which is basically a points-based ranking system) in June 2003 and Australia were at the top of the heap then. They remained at the top of the Test rankings till August 2009. Ricky Ponting, their ODI skipper, took over the Test captaincy in 2004 when Steve Waugh retired. He had already won the 2003 World Cup as captain, and was in charge of the ODI side when they annexed the Champions Trophy in 2006. That meant having all three top feathers in his cap. One may argue that he inherited the No. 1 status, didn’t win it, but the argument is weak because the Test Championship system is such you have to keep scoring points to hold on to your place or lose the trophy called Mace. Australia successfully did that under him till 2009. Therefore Ricky Thomas Ponting laid his hands on every trophy on offer much before Dhoni did.

So only a strangely selective documentation would make Dhoni the first captain to have won everything that is there to be won.

True World Twenty20 came up later and Ponting never won it. But if ICC starts a new tournament tomorrow and Dhoni does not win it as captain before retirement, will that erase the record we are boasting of today?

It would be fair to ask what the need for this hair-splitting judgment is. Does being second, instead of first, to have achieved that feat make Dhoni’s achievement any less significant? It doesn’t. Winning any multi-nation tournament is heroic. Doing it over and over is even more heroic. But if you praise somebody more than what is due, it won’t be long before you curse the same person unreasonably.

This brings me to the question why I still can’t spontaneously call him the best ever Indian captain despite winning more trophies than any of his predecessors.

Sourav Ganguly, the man Dhoni is often compared to, softly said a significant thing in the TV studio hours before the Champions Trophy final on June 23. Asked what a great achievement it would be if India were to win, making Dhoni the first captain to win everything on offer, Ganguly said: “That would definitely be great. These days you have an ICC tournament every two years…”

Exactly my point.

While praising him for how much we have won under him, let’s not forget how much we have lost. After winning the inaugural World T20 in 2007, we haven’t been able to clear the first hurdle in three consecutive editions. We were also knocked out of the 2009 Champions Trophy from the group stage, not to mention one of the worst strings of defeats in our Test history, in 2011-12.

We, the people, have been suffering from collective amnesia for a long time. Incessant cricket makes matters worse. When we lose we become so emotional that we bring Sachin Tendulkar down to the level of Gagan Khoda, and when we win we elevate Shikhar Dhawan to the level of Brian Lara.

If you are not already up in arms against the cynic that is me, or don’t feel I am a half-educated fan lecturing you on something as scholarly as cricket, let me remind you Dhoni has won only one Test series abroad (in New Zealand, 2009). A number of his predecessors, from Ajit Wadekar to Sourav Ganguly, have better overseas captaincy records than him. With due respect to all forms of cricket and the rankings, winning away Test series is still the biggest proof of quality. Till MSD does that more than once, let him remain one of our best. Let there be something, for Indian cricket’s sake, which our captain hasn’t achieved.

Now allow me to say what I make of the Champions Trophy win.

It’s good that we could win a multi-nation tournament abroad with a bunch of young players but the ease with which our team accomplished the job should not be taken too seriously if we are to have long-lasting success.

England had hosted four World Cups and one Champions Trophy before this but hardly ever was a spinner the highest wicket-taker. That happened this time because the pitches were as English as a convent-educated Bengali boy. Thank heavens we had a couple of good spinners. Our pace trio, for example, could hardly make inroads into the most solid batting line-up of the tournament --- England’s.

The less said about our opponents the better. South Africa without Dale Steyn, Graeme Smith and Jacques Kallis are hardly better than South Africa A, but even then we conceded more than 300 against them; the West Indies are still not as good in the 50-over format as in the T20s; this Pakistan side had nothing Pakistani about them except for the green shirt; Sri Lanka are basically a two-man team now and those two failed against us.

That brings us to England, who think their top three can bat the way they did in the 1980s because they have Bevans and Kluseners down the order. Even the England bowling, with the exception of James Anderson, is overrated. Remember who was their best bowler in the final? Ravi Bopara. That despite overcast conditions. What did Stuart Broad, the next Botham, do? Or the lion-hearted Tim Bresnan? And let’s not waste words on their ability to play spin.

So here we are, the champion of champions in ODIs and comfortable winners against a rudderless Australian side in Tests, looking to visit South Africa, the No. 1 Test team and a completely different side in ODIs in their own backyard. The inconvenient hyphen called tri-series in the West Indies and the unnecessary comma called Zimbabwe tour won’t test us, hopefully.

Some of our much-vaunted weapons won’t cut ice in Africa. They won’t make dry pitches to help Ravindra Jadeja and Ravichandran Ashwin. How good our captain’s Mr Reliable (Ishant Sharma) bowls is going to be a deciding factor; the last tour Down Under doesn’t give much hope. Bhuvneshwar Kumar’s problem, going by our captain’s use of him, is he can swing the ball. So he will only be bowled when the ball is new. Form and potential be damned. Does Umesh Yadav know what is to be done with his fearsome speed? God knows.

Our new hope Dhawan is untested on bouncy pitches; Murali Vijay looked out of place on the previous tour. Cheteshwar Pujara, too, will have to do better than last time. How will the Little Master do? Nobody would like to guess; let’s hope Virat Kohli comes out in flying colours.

Dhoni took Rohit Sharma to Champions Trophy as a middle-order batsman and had so much faith in the abilities of Vijay that he didn’t even take a third opener. Just because Vijay couldn’t score in the warm-up ties, he lost all faith and made Rohit an opener, keeping Vijay on the bench for the entire tournament. Whether Rhiti Sports had a role in determining Dhoni’s faith before a foreign tour will not be asked now because in India, end justifies the means. Father of the Nation be damned, we live in the age of Modi.

But questions persist. Questions which have been shelved now for we are overwhelmed by a Champions Trophy victory, even after winning two World Cups.

Hail Dhoni! However, I can’t accept him as the best ever India skipper, let alone one of the best in the history of the game. I have cricketing reasons for that but will only offer a non-cricketing one here, which is enough, at least for me --- a true leader will never keep shut under the instructions of either the Board president or the country’s president.

Call me a cynic but remember, cynicism doesn’t harm anybody, euphoria does. Flip through any history book for instances.

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                                                                         প্রতীক বন্দ্যোপাধ্যায়

The 100: Triumph of man over god

“Because god didn’t want the birth of another god,” somebody wrote, explaining the reason behind Don Bradman’s failure to finish with the average of 100. God-fearing cricket writers must have been happy had Sachin Tendulkar finished his career stranded on 99 centuries. That would have proved the omnipotence of god and the limit of human excellence. That is why I was ecstatic when Sachin completed his 100th century. For an atheist like me, March 16, 2012 was the day when it was proved that either god doesn’t exist or even if he does, he cannot restrict human excellence.

Geniuses transcend their era but they are products of their era. When Bradman stopped short of the magic average in 1948, man had invented telephone and television but still could not dream of setting foot on the moon. Now, when Tendulkar achieved the unimaginable mark of 100 international centuries, human beings are buying property on the moon and have gone as far as questioning the statement: “Nothing moves faster than light.” Clearly, the boundary of human effort and human knowledge has exceeded all imagination. While Bradman’s generation believed there was something unachievable, Tendulkar’s generation believes nothing is impossible. His 100th century has affirmed that belief.

While many will say: “Thanks for the memories” when the master hangs up his boots in near future, I’ll say: “Thanks for showing how far we can go and making us believe even that is not the end.” While many worship him as the god of cricket, I love him because he is human like me but always strives to be superhuman. Not just his batting, even his humility is superhuman. Otherwise what was the need to go for an optional practice session before a game against Bangladesh? He could have indoors. Detractors would say his recent off form, which has given rise to calls for retirement, kept him on his toes. But haven’t players with much less runs in their skipped practice even in off form? The real reason behind the Little Master practising hard is he never thinks he is bigger than the game, even though the media and many of his fans think so.

Yes, he has been frail sometimes. All human beings are. He has made errors of judgement, offering himself to criticism. We all do that. Definitely, he should have retired from ODIs after winning the World Cup; he made a mistake by not doing so. But what is a man without mistakes? A shirker, because whoever tries something, makes mistakes. Tendulkar has never stopped trying.

The most striking feature of Tendulkar’s career, apart from his batting, has been the lack of words spoken. In a country like ours, where actors speak more than they act, politicians speak more than they work, gurus speak more than they need to and journalists are interested more in what is said than what is done, Tendulkar has remained most prolific with the bat but least prolific with his mouth. It’s not that there haven’t been controversies around him. When he made his debut, senior cricketers were at war with the Board. Then there have been times when his seniors were fighting against each other. Even there was a time when some cricketers were deliberately underperforming under his captaincy. Later, some of his teammates were caught fixing. In the last decade, his captain and coach were involved in a duel. Being an iconic cricketer all the while, there was a lot to talk about had he wanted to talk, but he never did. That policy has not worked all the time. Had he been more vocal, his record as the India captain would have been much better, his protest earlier could have saved India from the Greg Chappell disaster. So I do not support his policy of letting his bat do the talking all the time. But even in that policy there is a lesson to learn: “All work and no talk doesn’t make Jack a dull boy. It only makes him a better worker.”

Therefore, I am not among those who are waiting for his autobiography. I think, like Mahatma Gandhi, his life is his message. Of course it would be nice to know about his experiments with truth, and falsehood, but even without that, don’t we understand what made him what he is today? And critics? They’ll always be critics. Somebody who isn’t criticised by anybody isn’t worth his salt. So Tendulkar need not worry about those who say he is not a big match player despite the man being the all-time highest scorer in the World Cups, with a match-defining 85 in the semi-final of the World Cup that India won. Neither should he care a damn about those who say he never won India a Test in spite of his Warne-washing century in Chennai in 1998, England-effacing hundred there in 2009. And those who say Tendulkar never saved a Test are anyway to be laughed at because his first international century (119 at Old Trafford) itself was a match-saving one, not to forget the 176 at Eden Gardens in 2002. Let’s not talk about the innumerable Tests and one-dayers when the other Indian batsmen made guest appearances at the crease, thinking only Tendulkar has to score.

Before I finish, here are some stats for those who can’t have enough of the genius as well as those who are tired of him:

Among his 51 Test centuries, 20 have come in a winning cause when he averages 66.59, 20 more in drawn Tests when he averages 66.12 and only 11 have come when India have lost when he averages 37.65.

Of his 49 ODI centuries, 33 have won India the match. He averages 56.65 there. The other 16, including his 100th international ton, could not win it for India.

Now, if somebody says Tendulkar never plays for the team or he is not a match-winner, should he be listened to?

DEFENDING DHONI

Let me make it clear first that I don’t think Mahendra Singh Dhoni deserves to be in India’s Test team anymore. He was never a top-class wicketkeeper. He was in the team because, as he himself pointed out after claiming the 200th victim in Tests, he was a “package”. Aggressive batting and smart captaincy made him that. Batting has failed him for quite some time now, and the less said about his captaincy in the longest version of the game, the better. So I am not here to defend Dhoni’s place in the Test team. Nor am I defending his insipid captaincy in England and Australia this season. What I am out to defend is his integrity, which I think, is quite extraordinary.

Some of the criticism he has attracted in the wake of India’s seven Test defeats on the trot abroad is personal, illogical and inappropriate. I find it strange that he is being hauled up for some unusually honest remarks and some critics are calling him arrogant for saying things any humble professional should say.

The two things that have drawn most criticism for Dhoni since the Sydney loss are: India’s go-karting session and the Indian captain’s comment that he may retire from Tests in 2013.

While I, too, am still angry with the Indian team for skipping practice after huge losses and opting for go-karting, I don’t understand why that should be counted as an example of Dhoni’s arrogance. Didn’t the whole team go? There haven’t been any reports that the captain had forced anybody to go or the team management had made it mandatory to go. In fact, vice-captain Virender Sehwag, Rahul Dravid et al did not go, giving rise to the notion that there is a rift in the team. Let’s not go into that. Even those who went were obviously not taken on gunpoint by the skipper. So why blame his attitude and say this is something he has instilled into the team during his tenure? We are talking about grown-ups here, isn’t it? Is it possible to spoon feed them one person’s attitude? Preposterous!

Dhoni’s comment that he may give up playing one format (obviously Tests) to be fit and in-form for the 2015 World Cup has also received caustic criticism from all quarters. Everybody has interpreted it as proof of Dhoni’s lack of interest or love for Test cricket. Maybe that is the case, but if you believe Dhoni does not deserve to be in our Test side then why are you angry? You want him out of the team anyway. What I derive from that comment is: Dhoni, being the reasonable he is, has understood that he cannot perform in Tests outside the subcontinent. One look at the Future Tours Programme and you will know Team India don’t step outside the subcontinent before 2013. So our World Cup-winning captain doesn’t want to be the team’s burden, which he has been in England and Australia. While the more knowledgible cricket pundits see a selfish agenda there, I see the opposite: an effort to put the team’s interest before one’s reputation. Somebody who knows his limitation and works accordingly should be respected, not lambasted.

But, of course, critics say the Chennai Super Kings captain is more interested in the quick money of the Indian Premier League than the rigours of Test cricket. I have already refuted the point of taking his retirement as his disinterest in Tests, now come to the point of his interest in IPL riches. This point is the perfect example of Indian media’s holier-than-thou attitude. While everybody in every walk of life is running after money, we expect our cricketers to be altruists and philanthropists of the first order. Absurd! Doctors working in government hospitals practise privately, we don’t object. School teachers run private coaching centres, we don’t object. Media houses get into private agreements, we don’t object. But we all become knights in shining armours if our cricketers want to play IPL.

Unlike teachers or doctors or journalists, cricketers do not belong to the salaried class. So I don’t see a problem if they want to earn big through IPL and secure their future. Once they hang up their boots, neither the critics nor I would be there to look after their families. Playing for the country should obviously be the priority but I don’t see Dhoni is preferring IPL over the country. Had that been the case, the man would not have wanted to continue playing ODIs and play the next World Cup. There is no reason to liken him to Chris Gayle who gives a damn to playing for the West Indies, and is happy playing in T20 leagues all over the world. I won’t blame Dhoni if he, like Shaquille O’Neal, says: “I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.”

My liking for Dhoni, the Test cricketer, has gone down after his spate of poor performances but my respect for Dhoni, the man, has gone up a few notches after he said: “I am the culprit” after India lost in two-and-a-half days at the WACA. Criticise him as much as you like, but tell me honestly, how many times have you heard an Indian captain blame himself like that after a horrible series loss?

I believe we are all up in arms against Dhoni not because he has presided over some of our worst losses in history but because we don’t like any successful person leaving his place gracefully, even though we say just the opposite. We actually like to see the person struggle so that we can pinch him, kick him, devour him. We become angry if we are denied that chance. I remember the helpless anger of the opposition when Jyoti Basu gave up the chief ministership of West Bengal. Mamata Banerjee went to the extent of saying the Left Front should seek fresh mandate even though it had clear majority in the Assembly.

Are we a sadist nation? Maybe. But can’t we give Dhoni a break from our sadism, considering he has also given us some of the best moments in our cricketing history?